Sunday, December 12, 2010

My explanation

I haven't posted in a week. I haven't even been online really at all. The reason honestly because I'm ashamed.

I see all your positive posts, I see how great the Lap Band is working for everyone else, and I feel to embarassed to post my own thoughts and dealings with the Band.

The truth is - the band isn't what I thought it would be so far. I'm worried I will fail. I'm worried I'll stay the way I am forever.

I'm only 20. I think I jumped the gun a little bit in getting the surgery. I don't regret it, because I really wanted it. But I'm just sad. I'm not sure I'm ready to give up food. I've only been overweight for 4 years. I'm still obsessed wth food. I simply love it. I know I have to decide what I want more :to be thin and healthy or the taste of food for one second?

But its a lot harder than just that. I'm not sure I have it in me, and I'm honestly ashamed. I feel like I'm the only one to ever fail with a lap band. So thats why I've been absent.


  1. Liz you are not alone! I too underestimated how much work it would still be to lose weight with a band.

    I just hope that is really is true, that one day our bands will be adjusted to the sweet spot and we will no longer think about food all day.

    I've ate so much crap lately...

    When is your next fill? My 2nd fill is still 3 weeks away yet. My 1st fill was 4 weeks ago. I can eat heaps, including steak and chips. 2 things most bandits dont seem to be able to eat.

    Hang in there!

  2. Believe me, I understand what you're saying. I've had my band almost four months and am only now approaching 20lbs lost. I find it is easy to eat around, if you think about it. You can eat chocolate, chips....but it's not the end for food. I can still eat pizza (just two small slices as opposed to four giant ones), I can still have wine (oh yeah!). You just have to change the way you eat physically. Don't be so upset....I worry that I will fail on the band too.

  3. I get it...I'm 8 months post-op and am down a whopping 25lbs. That's it, that's all. I don't feel I have restriction, I still turn to food for comfort and honsetly it blows that the junk I crave goes down so easily. It's not easy, but I just keep going one day at a time with the hope that when I do finally get to the sweet spot, it'll all be worth it and it will be as easy as others say it is at that point.
    Good luck and hang in there!

  4. Never feel ashamed to post your thoughts - you are amoungst people here who do feel the same way - me included.

    I have been an over eater for a very long time now and without restriction, I am definately struggling. I am eating a lot more than I should be, but luckily my exercise seems to be keeping the scale friendly. I also have a lot - and I mean - A LOT of weight to lose.

    You will get there but just remember that they are baby steps - we can't change over night!

  5. It sounds like you're not alone. It hasn't been an easy weight loss for me either, it really is a battle of the mind.

    I hope you can get it all working together for you.

  6. Liz this is your blog and you should always feel like you can share your thoughts with us!

    We all go through dark periods like this. Maybe you should go and speak to your surgeon and try and find a solution?

    Like everyone else has said. Baby steps :) You will do it. It just takes time and finding the right way for you!

  7. take a breathe and relax darling. We all go through these thoughts, at I have. I know it is hard when we have run into a little trouble. You can still enjoy food.

    Look at this way, even if you loss the weight slowly and still enjoy your favourite foods, you are still losing it.

  8. Honestly hon, I got my first fill a week ago and have another one end of this week. Until that first fill I felt NO restriction for the previous three weeks...BUT I had 4ml's in my band (they put it in when installed)

    My surgeon and fill person both said 5-6 mls is where most feel a change. Last fill I went to 4.75ml and while I felt a difference I haven't really lost any weight (despite exercising etc) but my dr is an aggressive filler so I get probably another 0.75 on Fri which will hopefully give me some restriction.

    Remember while not a miracle cure, sometimes you actually need it filled before it works! I think some dr's are over cautious and want to take their time, I think mine see's that I paid neary 20k for the privilige he had better deliver!

    What is your dr's view on more fill? Are you going to be waiting a long time between fills or is it every 4 weeks?

  9. You gotta have a strong will that you will surpass this test. Believe me, this works for all the patients and it will surely work for you as well. At the age of 20, you have a higher metabolism than adults aging from 25-50++ so, you have a higher percentage to overcome this kind of problem. Phoenix lap band surgeons says that, you can look for advices through asking medical professional, blogs from other banders, and researches. However, it still depends on how are you going to handle your weight loss program. I believe you can make it.