I haven't posted in a week. I haven't even been online really at all. The reason why.....is honestly because I'm ashamed.
I see all your positive posts, I see how great the Lap Band is working for everyone else, and I feel to embarassed to post my own thoughts and dealings with the Band.
The truth is - the band isn't what I thought it would be so far. I'm worried I will fail. I'm worried I'll stay the way I am forever.
I'm only 20. I think I jumped the gun a little bit in getting the surgery. I don't regret it, because I really wanted it. But I'm just sad. I'm not sure I'm ready to give up food. I've only been overweight for 4 years. I'm still obsessed wth food. I simply love it. I know I have to decide what I want more :to be thin and healthy or the taste of food for one second?
But its a lot harder than just that. I'm not sure I have it in me, and I'm honestly ashamed. I feel like I'm the only one to ever fail with a lap band. So thats why I've been absent.