Saturday, November 6, 2010

Broken Hearted

My first break up with a boyfriend.

Sadness is eating me up. And in return, I'm eating up anything in sight. I've never hurt like this before. I can't stop thinking about him. This is horrendus.

If he just could stop drinking....we could be together. He is ringing a rehab place tomorrow....maybe theres hope? I hate this feeling.


  1. It isnt easy...and remember it isnt your job to fix him, he is the only one who can commit to it.

    I have been there and you can only look after yourself. Alcoholics can be hugely emotionally draining and we want them to get better, but you must not forget about what you want for your life besides him.

    One of my largest weight gains (pre my drug induced weight gain) was while living/breaking/dating an alcoholic because your emotions are all over the place (and this was one who had done rehab).

    You deserve the best and he MAY be able to pull that off for you, but that doesnt stop it hurting right now!

  2. Great comment from Mo. I almost could have written it myself. The feelings of hurt and guilt will get better, I assure you.*hugs* you have made the best decision for you, to preserve your emotional state of mind. Get you better and allow him to get him better. Xoxo

  3. Well I was behind on reading your blog, so I'm glad that relationship is done. I was with an alcoholic for 4 1/2 years and I felt like if I loved him ENOUGH for was encouraging ENOUGH, he could kick it. But that is just not the case. It doesn't matter if they have you or not, you love them or not....they have to do it ALL ON THEIR OWN. And it's scary. It WILL hurt but know you WILL get passed this. Maybe write more? On here or just on your computer. Just let those wildly emotional feelings and thoughts POUR out of your brain. It will help you through the process. Good luck, sweetie!

  4. Oh honey - stay strong. You are finally putting YOURSELF first. You can't fix him - you know that. Get through the rain - there's always a rainbow waiting...and keep coming here and reaching out...we're here for you. Remember this - if you have to give up all of yourself to be the one half in a's too much...and not worth the risk. That wager is just too high.

  5. Like you told me, hang in there! Mo and Draz said it all very well! There are brighter days ahead...we just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and only focus on that one small step at a time.

  6. I'm so sorry that you are in such pain. Been there. It sucks. But as the others said, it does get better. ***HUG***

  7. I too was once here and totally understand the pain. I am so sorry. I hope what is meant to happen, will - and if there is hope, it will be. Know, it will get better.

  8. You poor thing! You are going through so much at the moment.

    But I think you have done the right thing. Alcoholics are so caught up in their own shit that they are the worst people to be around - especially in a relationship. They hurt everyone around them without really meaning to because all they care about is the grog. Trust me I know. As an addict I knew I really had to have the space in the end to kick the thing alone. After a year of failed attempts to get off the gear and sucking the life blood out of my family and friends I knew the best thing was to get away from everyone and deal with it myself. So in the end you are probably helping him as well as yourself.

    You are a beautiful girl Liz, going through tough times, and you must put yourself first. It seems to me you need all your energy to work on your own depression and your lapband journey and that this break up with help give you the space to do just that.

    Lots of hugs. V.

  9. Oh I am so so sorry, I know how broken hearted you must be! I might sound cheesy here but it's true, time can heal anything and it will heal this as well!

    Everything happens for a reason I am certain of it. Although you don't know the reason right now you probably will know in the near future!