Well I had my first fill today. I was really hoping for a change but I don't feel a bit different. I now have 4ml in my band. I don't have any restriction still.
I just don't know what to do. I feel so sad. I feel like its my lot in life to have bad luck. Lap Band works for everyone else, how come it doesn't work for me?
I am now just sitting here on the couch eating chocolate and feeling sorry for myself. I always feel tired, but there is nothing wrong with me apart from Depression. I've thought for a long time that theres something seriously wrong with me and the Doctors are just missing it. I said this to my psychatrist and she said its not unusual to think that, and my fatigue is normal for Depression.
I'm sick of it. Sick of the Depression, the eating, the sadness, TAFE, feeling like my life is going to be this way forever. The only relief I get is from writing this Blog! On my way home from work tonight I was just crying and felt like shit, I almost had a car crash. I just thought: God I can't write to let this all out on my blog.