I'm eating to comfort myself. I can see it very clearly. I don't even have the energy to stop. I'm just feeling sad. My world isn't how I imagined it. I'm trying to change it. I have the appointment with a psychatrist tomorrow. I have a fill on Wednesday. My sister is going home to europe on Tuesday which is devestating. She lives there and I miss her so much all the time. I really don't know what to do about the boyfriend issue, I'm sure if I didn't have him no other man would ever want me.
And I saw a video of myself today and I thought 'God. That is NOT me. That CAN NOT be me. I'm so fat. So much fatter than I realised. And I have had lap band surgery. No difference. Wow. This sucks. I know the answer lies in how much I'm eating. But I can't make myself stop. Blah. I wish I could write about something good for once. I think I'm going to make myself write about something good tomorrow.