I am not sure I have much lap band related news. Yesterday I got a lot of chocolate. I'm slowly making my way through it.
I haven't had the best past few weeks. Feeling pretty low. My new antidepressents haven't kicked in yet I don't think. Yesterday I couldn't stop crying. It was horrible. I'm not a cryer. I just...I will cry maybe once a month. But yesterday I couldn't stop.
Things with my boyfriend are crap. He has an alcohol problem. Its not that he drinks often....but when he drinks he can't stop. Binge drinking. I know how hard it is to quick, because I've had to quit binge eating. On saturday night he did it yet again. It was his 8th chance. We have talked about this so many times until I feel blue in the face. I have tryed to help him get through it. He is seeing a psycholagist today to get help. But...I don't know how many times I can forgive.
I hate him for doing this to me. Because I can not break up with him. I love him. I have so much fun with him when hes sober. He is the tiny bit of light in my life at the moment. And then....when he drinks it all goes to shit. He is rude and says really hurtful things to me and just....I can't deal with it. He always promises he will never do it again, but he does.
If my friend was going through this, I would tell her to break up with him and hes a douche. But its a lot harder to do that in real life.
I feel a little hopeless and a little sad. I'm just waiting until I get my first fill. And I don't know if there was something wrong with my post last week because someone said they couldn't comment on it, but I felt a little alone in this big wide world.
Anyway, as someone at work told me last night: Its time to put put my big girl pants on and toughen up.