I think NOT. Don't get me wrong, if you are family, or very close friends with someone, of course weight will be discussed and commented on. But I really don't think its cool that my boss told me tonight to "loose weight now."
Now I've got to put this into context for you guys. My boss is a female aged around forty. She has been overweight her whole life, and is a large woman, around a size 26 and medium height. Shes a lovely woman and a nice boss, and we get along well. Recently she has been sick and I noticed she looked a little slimmer, but tonight I found out she has lost 18kg in like 8 weeks. I asked her how and she said "I just havne't been eating." I told her she was 40 and she should know that thats not healthy, but she didn't care. I told her I had lost 4kg but didn't know how it would go from here. She said "Liz loose it NOW. Trust me. NOW. You don't want to wake up my age and be overweight." That part, I get. But the next part I don't get.
She said "I remember being your age, and being your size, well actually bigger. I hated my body, I never enjoyed life when I was that age. You should enjoy it now while you can Liz. Loose the weight now so you can actually enjoy it."
Well. I am a size 16. I am 6 foot tall. I never actually thought I was that bad. I know on the scales, YES I do need to loose a lot of weight. But I don't think I look bad. Apparently I'm wrong. Apparently I look like I need to loose it all now.
That made me really sad when I've just had surgery to stop this problem. I honestly am shattered right now. I didn't realise I was so huge to the world.
I think what she was trying to do (and please don't get mad at me, I've just seen people do this) is basically project her misery on you. In her mind, she thinks she's "saving" you by basically telling you what she wishes she would have done at your age. I look back even to my 20's and wish I would have done something about my weight. I wasted SO MUCH TIME and just didn't realize it. That's what I'm thinking. I could be wrong but it seems like you really like her and that she adores you, and she was probably just trying to "help" in her own weird way. I know that it sounds annoying - trust me - I hate when people give me their weight-loss advice - sort of pisses me off. But, I guarantee it was with a good heart and not malice. Hugs to you. :) And yes - you have every right to be annoyed with it. But, as a 34 year old, I often want to tell my 20 something nieces that I wasted a lot of time being heavy. It's one of those things that there is no good or easy way to say it so it's probably better not to. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ginger... I think that she is so miserable now that she wants to "save" others from her misery and feels like it's her duty to do so. I can understand how she might feel, but thinking it and saying it outloud are two different things.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that at a size 16 and 6 feet tall you do NOT look huge to the world! I betcha a million bucks that your boss would KILL to be your size. I know I would!
I think that often times people also say these things to others as a way of thinking out loud and don't have a clue as to how others might take it.
I really think she meant no harm. Sounds like you were having an honest conversation about your weights and I think she was just supporting your decision to lose the weight, now.
ReplyDeleteShe obviously wishes she dealt with her weight when she was your age. I highly doubt that she's looking at you and thinking your fat at a size 16. She's probably envious of you being a size 16!
I don't think it was a personal comment about you - I think it was a personal comment about HER. She is obviously very unhappy about the choices she has made in life and is now resorting to the dangerous cirle of unhealthy dieting.
ReplyDeleteDon't focus on what she is saying just continue with your own weight loss knowing that you are doing the best thing for you.
I agree with the other girls, I think she was projecting her own misery on to you but at the same time trying to be helpful. I got to tell you I've done a lot of things in my life most people would regret, like the partying, etc, but I don't really. What I do regret is eating too much and not exercising enough and not watching my weight more carefully when I was young. I wish I'd got my lapband when I was 25 when I first got obese. Life might have been a hell of a lot different for me.
ReplyDeleteBTW size 16 and 6ft! What's your BMI if you don't mind me asking? I would kill to be size 16 and 6ft (and so, probably, would your boss).
:>)